Of Love & War

Tag: reflect

  • The Art of Saying “No”

    The Art of Saying “No”

    It Stems From People Pleasing Energy

    Recovered people pleaser over here to tell you the secret that will propel your healing to become abundant in confidence, self worth and attract what’s meant for you.

    Well, based on the title, it’s not a secret anymore although if I knew it was the answer to why I felt so drained and experienced inner turmoil, I would have utilized it much sooner. 

    People pleasers are those who always say yes, even to thoughts and actions that don’t align with their truth.

    Why Is It So Hard To Say “No”?

    That’s because they don’t know their truth. 

    Chances are they grew up in a home where one or more of their caregivers were unpredictable which caused their homeostasis to remain in fight or flight mode. They had to constantly shift their behavior to satisfy their caregiver(s) which didn’t give them an opportunity to discover themselves. 

    Fast forward to adult years and you will see someone who is mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained because they spend their time doing for others versus doing for themselves. 

    It’s Time To Be A Healthy Selfish

    In order to discover who you are and what your purpose is while on this journey, one has to become a healthy selfish. 

    A healthy selfish includes preserving one’s energy for what’s valuable to them, not others, and that starts with saying “no”.

    Here Are Some Ideas To Learn The Art Of “No”:

    1. Meditate. If you’re new to meditating, start with spending 5 minutes per day. For mediation tips, check out my article (insert link here)
    2. Reflect. You have to know what you don’t want to know what you do want. Journal your thoughts on aspects of your life you don’t like and follow up with what changes you want to see. Be specific. This step will show you what you feel is valuable to you.
    3. Gratitude. For every situation, choose something to be thankful for. It’s so easy to think a low vibrational or negative thought and ride the flow, however if you set the intention to recognize the good, it will become easier to be grateful.
    4. Say “no”. It’s going to be very uncomfortable at first, however start using the word “no” in response to thoughts or actions you don’t feel are valuable to you and push past that uncomfortable feeling because it will pass.
    5. Take action. Find a hobby. Go explore. Take that sip n paint class you’ve been eyeballing. Do something! Start spending your time doing things you feel are valuable instead of spending your time doing things other’s find valuable. 
    6. Acceptance. Be easy on yourself. Know that this is a learning process and it’s going to be uncomfortable at first however the more you say “no” the more you’ll discover who you are as a person and what your truth is.
    Mastering the art of saying “No” is so liberating!

    Keep Going, It Gets Easier

    These 6 steps are continual tasks. The more time you spend focusing on the art of saying “no” the more you will notice you begin to trust yourself and learn your truth of who you really are. The more you trust yourself, the more confident you will become which also build your self worth.

    It’s going to be some work at first and your life will look like it’s crumbling, however you have to clear out the people and situations that aren’t meant for you in order to make room for what is. 

    After a while, saying “no” will be easy because you have confidence, know your worth, and know who you are and you won’t sacrifice any of that for anyone else. 

    Keep shinning!

  • Flow Through Timeline Jumping: Align with Your Manifestations

    Flow Through Timeline Jumping: Align with Your Manifestations

    Do you ever feel like you’re in between realities? A brief few seconds of this feeling of the past and the future in the present moment? It’s a wave of energy, a knowing. It feels like confirmation to trust your manifestations.

    For the last few weeks, I’ve experienced this and I thought I would share what timeline jumping is and how to flow through it.

    What is Timeline Jumping?

    Timeline jumping is timeline traveling, yet for a short period of time; a few seconds or less. Yes, time travel is possible.

    There are infinite timelines happening simultaneously. Each second you make a decision determines the timeline you flow through. Everyone has the ability to shift timelines, changing their reality infinite times.

    It’s Like The Feeling Of Deja vu, Kind Of

    Have you ever felt that feeling for a few seconds that at that moment everything felt familiar? As if you were already there experiencing that reality and you were doing it again?

    Deja vu is a phenomenon where there is a glitch in one’s subconscious programming. Imagine a video game that doesn’t have enough bandwidth to properly project the game on the screen and the game freezes or glitches. Deja vu is broadly the same concept as timeline jumping.

    What Does It Mean To Spontaneously Timeline Jump?

    It means your Higher Self is aligning you with the energies of the Universe so you can jump to the reality you are manifesting. Think of it as confirmation to what you truly desire is coming to you.

    The key to solidifying that manifestation during that timeline jump is the flow.

    How To Flow

    This, my collective, is where it’s at. The fact that you’re here reading this means your Higher Self has a message for you and I feel this is it.

    Be still. Be aware. Be present. Allow the energy to be. Accept it as it is and allow the energy to flow through your mind, body and soul. Feel gratitude. Say ‘thank you’ out loud, or whatever you feel called to say.

    Allow your heart chakra to warm and tickle, creating light from within your soul. Use that energy you created and allow it to embody your being. Soak in the appreciation that you’re heard and what you want is on the way.

    Journal To Confirm The Energy

    What I like to do to show appreciation and confirm that is the timeline I desire to flow through is journal.

    Journaling is a great way to release energy and set those intentions for what you intend to become or accomplish.

    Proper journaling is done with pencil and paper. They are grounding tools made from the energy of trees and trees are a wonderful resource for energy exchange.

    As A Bonus

    To really solidify your manifestation, you can take the paper you journaled on and fold it towards you as many times as you feel called to. This pushes the energy towards you. Then light it on fire to send the energy out in to the Universe. Your intentions and belief will bring the timeline you desire right to you. (Obviously, be safe while using fire.)

  • The Benefits of Being Present in Daily Life

    The Benefits of Being Present in Daily Life

    Distractions are everywhere.

    How do you make time for yourself, your goals, and your people?

    Join me as I discuss the value of being present and tips you can implement starting today.

    What Does It Mean To Be Present?

    Present is being aware of the here and now.

    Fully appreciating the magnificent ability to observe our thoughts, sights, sounds, tastes, and feelings; in the 3D and above.

    It’s also understanding we are more than this 3D body. We are spiritual beings walking this Earth to learn lessons in order to ascend and heal our souls.

    Benefits Of Being Present

    Being present has so many benefits. They include:

    • Anti-anxiety
    • Improved Sleep
    • Better Mood
    • Anti-depressive
    • Reduction in PTSD symptoms
    • Improved Self Image
    • Appreciation for life
    • Overall Better Health
    • Better Life Choices

    This is not an exhaustive list of the benefits to being present and everyone has their own experiences.

    [Please consult your doctor before making any life changes.]

    Being Present And Time

    The benefits of being present offer one a new appreciation for their life and choices.

    In return, this offers a new perspective on how and who one spends their time.

    One begins to understand that how one spends their time is the most valuable.

    Thoughts are careful created, conversations are selectively chosen, actions are premeditated and direction with intention becomes clearer.

    Being present offers one the ability to master their life in a way their soul intended.

    How To Be Present

    The first way to be present is through grounding techniques, then one can add daily meditation.

    Grounding is when one uses their senses to bring their mind back to the present. It’s a way to silence the thoughts and reduce the energetic noise.

    There are many different grounding techniques one can use to be present.

    I recommend starting with a 3D sense of your choice to start: sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

    You can ask yourself about each sense. This will bring you back to the present moment.

    This takes practice and gets easier.

    You’ll also find which sense resonates with you.

    For tips on how to meditate check out my blog How To Meditate: Tips For Mindfulness and Focus.

    Let’s chat! What sense did you chose? How does it work for you?

    Leave a comment

  • How to Meditate: Tips for Mindfulness and Focus

    How to Meditate: Tips for Mindfulness and Focus

    What Is Mediation?

    If you’re new to meditation or want some new ideas, then this article is for you!

    Meditating is the art of silencing one’s mind in order to rest it. It also provides opportunities for growth and healing.

    Meditation Benefits

    The benefits of meditating are limitless although here are some to take note of:

    • Reduces racing thoughts by quieting the mind
    • Improves mental stamina and focus
    • Better sleep, nutrition, and overall health
    • Builds confidence and self worth
    • Breaks one free from the subconscious programming
    • Understands how to be present

    Physical training : physical bodies = meditation : minds.

    Be Patient With Yourself

    Know that the time it takes to experience the benefits of meditating are unique to each individual, so one may experience benefits within a month or two, while another may benefit after several months. For me, it took 2 weeks.

    There is one key idea one needs to be aware of that seems to be a pattern among those that begin meditating: it can be overwhelming at first.

    Think of a dog that’s been in its kennel all day and has some pent up energy. When you take that dog outside, it’s so excited to let all that energy out it pulls on the leash or runs around excitedly. Your mind is like that dog. It has so many thoughts pent up and needs a release, so you have to commit to stick with it and have faith you will feel peace one day.

    How To Meditate

    This is what I suggest:

    Set your intention to meditate for 5 minutes and tell yourself “I am going to meditate for 5 minutes. My mind does not defy me and I am not what my thoughts say I am”.

    Start with 5 minutes per day. Set a timer on your phone or watch. You can increase the time to 10 minutes after you start to feel more comfortable. And eventually 30 minutes or more.

    Sit in a place that you won’t be disturbed.

    Relax and close your eyes.

    Focus on deep breaths in your nose and out your mouth, counts of 4 each. (Once you’re comfortable, you can inhale and exhale using your nose, however exhaling out of your mouth also releases negative energy.)

    For example: long slow inhale in nose count 1, 2, 3, 4 then long exhale out of mouth count 1, 2, 3, 4.

    Continue focusing on your breaths.

    Allow your mind to think freely. Let it think, say, picture whatever it wants while you continue to breathe.

    Detach from what your mind is saying. Allow it to flow away from you. For some, they picture the words and pictures flying into the sky away from them. Detach however you feel works best for you.

    Keep going and flow through those 5 minutes.

    Be Comfortable Getting Uncomfortable

    It’s going to be uncomfortable, yet it gets better after continued practice. Getting uncomfortable is the only way to grow.

    Let me know how it went! Do you meditate regularly and feel you can offer some insight for those who are new to meditating? Let’s connect!

    P.S. Let me know if you want to learn more!

  • How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Last Longer

    How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Last Longer

    It only seems fitting I discuss New Year’s stuff since this is the first post for this year.

    What’s the point of a New Year’s Resolution anyways? Does it even last?

    Obviously, everyone has their individual reasons why they do resolutions. I want to discuss this topic because there’s always a deeper meaning to our actions and decisions and I feel like I have something to learn. Love the epiphanies!

    Why Decide To Have a New Year’s Resolution?

    It’s more than participating in an event or wanting to be a better person. It seems like those reasons are the easy goto when you don’t want to explain your whole life’s journey.

    For the last few New Years, I decided to do video diaries that recapped that year and what I felt my soul was telling me would be the topic of the upcoming year. Maybe one day I’ll release them because the amount of growth I did in such short time was remarkable. I am very grateful at my ability to heal and level up that impacts all of my bodies.

    Is it about healing, then? Out with the old and in with the new? I feel like so many choose a resolution to change a habit. Do something new. But why? Why do you feel like you need to do something new? To abolish an old way of thinking and doing? Or is it just habit itself to choose a resolution?

    If all of these reasons are true, then why only do it once a year? It only takes 21 days to create or change a habit. This means we have so many opportunities throughout a year to make changes! Do it when your soul tells you to! You’d be amazed at the results!

    Short Term vs. Long Term

    I can’t tell you how many times my reality has revealed how people choose to go to the gym for their resolutions and it only lasts about a month before they change their minds. I believe more people quit their resolutions than see them through for at least the whole year.

    I know I used to always fail at that endeavor. No shame in my game! That’s why I chose to do video diaries and focus on healing rather than choosing a resolution for the year because I felt like I was letting myself down and only doing what everyone else was doing.

    Last year was the first year I chose a New Year’s Resolution and not only did I continue that habit throughout the year, it’s one of the most valuable habits I have to this day.

    What is it? So simple. So practical. So giving. For 2024, my New Year’s Resolution was “Naps are okay”.

    At the time, my life was evolving and changing into the manifestations I created, as it always is, and I needed a way to stay grounded and capable. The direction my life was going, if I didn’t give myself permission to nap, then I would probably begin to have mental breakdowns on the regular. Uhm, no thank you.

    Besides, I’m too passionate and driven about my goals to let anything stop me. I may slow down at times, however I always prevail. Even if three little words are what keep me going.

    How Do You Make It Last?

    Well, let’s take a few things into consideration. Maybe journal a little to get your thoughts out. Journaling can be so therapeutic.

    First, where are you at in life? How are you doing physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and energetically? Actually ask yourself these questions and trust what your intuition tells you. Write these answers down.

    Next, who do you want to be? Who are you now? What changes do you want to make to become the person you want to be? Write ‘em down.

    Then, what are your goals? Short term, long term, any term. Goal something up if you don’t have any. Direction is key in life. You have to remember where you came from and where you’re going.

    Finally, put this all together. When you look at all these answers as a whole, start to make note of your behaviors and thoughts that drive the person you are now.

    Then, imagine how you will behave, think and act when you are the person you want to be and have achieved your goals.

    Now close the gap. What is at least one habit you can add/change to your life that will get you there.

    Make it simple. Make it practical. Make it giving.

    For me, this year my New Year’s Resolution is to write everyday. Simple. Practical. Giving.

    Well, world… There it is… A little bit of me and a little bit of wisdom.

    xoxo,

    Kristin

  • Navigating Life’s Blocks: Embrace Your Journey

    Navigating Life’s Blocks: Embrace Your Journey

    Writers block. Achievers block. Mommin’ block. A huge LIFE BLOCK. So now what?

    Join me as I attempt to unveil the thoughts that keep me moving forward in life.

    Let’s Get After It …

    The fall time is always the most life changing for my soul. I usually go hermit and commit to dive deep in my shadows to receive the blessings for the new year.

    It’s ALWAYS super f*cking challenging and always demanding of my energy. I describe it as depressing to others.

    I usually don’t have the energy or patience to explain what hermit mode or shadow work is. Although it’s quite common.

    But, apparently, right here and right now, I am going to start this blog with a big bang.

    Let’s Bang It Up With Hermit Mode

    Hermit Mode. Or what others call it … isolation.

    Most people I explain this to like to chastise and judge. They like to tell me how unhealthy it is to isolate.

    Others give their opinions based upon their own life perceptions.

    I learned that I can not take everyone’s advice and I have to advocate what’s best for my soul.

    After all, that’s what this journey here on Earth is about, right?

    Learning lessons to heal, level up to share your story with others in hopes they become wise like the teacher?

    For me, Hermit Mode is a time where I can meditate, journal, reflect and do whatever the f*ck I want. I don’t have to answer to anyone, receive judgment, or allow anyone to bleed their perspectives into my visions.

    It’s a time where I can set intentions to accept what my soul brings to my attention, feel it, deal with it, accept it, and let it go.

    Each year I find myself leveling up and learning so much more about myself and others. It’s absolutely amazing and I hope you all give yourself this type of attention.

    So I explained what “Hermit Mode” is, let’s talk about the shadow side.

    What Is The Shadow Side?

    Everyone has a Shadow Side. It’s the trauma and pain our souls experience throughout eternity.

    I like to accept my Shadow Side as a blessing; an opportunity to heal and receive wisdom. You see, for every amount of pain, there’s an equal amount of blessing. We simply have to be willing to accept the pain to receive the wisdom.

    So many times, we get caught up somewhere during this process.

    Accept.

    Feel.

    Forgive.

    Let go.

    We are humans, after all … meaning we don’t have a manual to this life. We are all walking around trying to sort through our own sh*t, just like everyone else.

    One’s Shadow Side is an opportunity to break free from the social norms and become an individual. To step into the unknown and be willing to experience the new.

    However, it comes with a price. Pain. So much unforgiving pain. The kind of pain that makes you curl up in a ball and weep like a child.

    Our physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, and energetic bodies all carry experiences and it’s up to us to determine their affect and worth.

    Many people choose to mask the pain with devices such as addictions and distractions.

    I like to use distractions because addictions aren’t my thing. I distract myself with work, mommin’, the gym, counting macros, scrolling online, obsessively researching recipes. Recently, my research topic is how to make homemade bread. (I found the easiest protein pretzel recipe that came out great and has only a few ingredients!)

    All right, enough with the shadow side, let’s talk about the why.

    So What’s All This Pain Mean?

    That’s the gazillion dollar question… and it’s unique to everyone.

    For me, this journey is about self acceptance and taking risks: recovering from people pleasing and being a unicorn.

    I have so many ideas and passions I want to explore and achieve, however I am a perfectionist. I make excuses in my head as to why I can’t take action and stay frozen.

    However, it appears that’s what’s changing for me next year. Starting with this blog. It doesn’t have to be perfect and I can be me. I am not perfect. Yet, I am unique and accept myself for who I am, so why should I be shy to share me with the world?

    Is it fear? Is it shame? Is it self judgement? Sure… it’s all of those.

    However, if I don’t take this risk and put myself out into the world and do what fills my heart with passion, then what’s the point of being here?

    So here I am world. A little bit of me and a little bit of wisdom.

    xoxo,

    Kristin

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