Of Love & War

Tag: confidence

  • Connecting > Materialistics: How To Determine Your Value

    Connecting > Materialistics: How To Determine Your Value

    It’s All About The Ego

    Investing in the few connections that mean the most to you outweighs any materialistic thing. 

    That lesson took awhile for me to fully comprehend because my Ego was so programmed to have the most expensive things, live in the biggest home and drive the fanciest vehicle. 

    My Ego tricked me into believing that my worth was dependent upon other’s opinions of me and I was focusing on perspectives that were unsatisfying leaving me feeling empty. 

    Man, Is That All Wrong

    Once I let go of materialistic things and focused more on self love and nurturing the connections that meant most to me, I began to see the world in a different light.

    • You start to value your time more. 
    • You start giving attention to the people and ideas that matter to you.
    • You start to cherish the moments you have with yourself and those most valuable to you.
    • You start to question everything. 
    • You start allowing those people and things to exit your life to make room for what is meant for you.
    • You start to learn who you truly are and what your purpose is while here. 
    • You start to see the signs and synchronicities that align with your truth.
    • You start focusing on making yourself joyful, not just happy. 
    • You start making decisions that are fulfilling.
    • You start building confidence and self worth.

    Question Everything

    The Christians believed if you ask then you shall receive. God, the Universe, your Highest Self, whatever you believe in, also aligns with this fact. When you start to question your ways of thinking and doing, it allows room for curiosity and openness. This allows your source to speak to you and teach you what you’re meant to learn on this journey. 

    Something Is Here For You To Learn

    So if this read came into your reality, then maybe there’s a message here for you. I encourage you to ask, listen and feel what your intuition tells you.

    white background with elegant black writing that says love and light kristin with a heart attached to the n in kristin
  • The Art of Saying “No”

    The Art of Saying “No”

    It Stems From People Pleasing Energy

    Recovered people pleaser over here to tell you the secret that will propel your healing to become abundant in confidence, self worth and attract what’s meant for you.

    Well, based on the title, it’s not a secret anymore although if I knew it was the answer to why I felt so drained and experienced inner turmoil, I would have utilized it much sooner. 

    People pleasers are those who always say yes, even to thoughts and actions that don’t align with their truth.

    Why Is It So Hard To Say “No”?

    That’s because they don’t know their truth. 

    Chances are they grew up in a home where one or more of their caregivers were unpredictable which caused their homeostasis to remain in fight or flight mode. They had to constantly shift their behavior to satisfy their caregiver(s) which didn’t give them an opportunity to discover themselves. 

    Fast forward to adult years and you will see someone who is mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained because they spend their time doing for others versus doing for themselves. 

    It’s Time To Be A Healthy Selfish

    In order to discover who you are and what your purpose is while on this journey, one has to become a healthy selfish. 

    A healthy selfish includes preserving one’s energy for what’s valuable to them, not others, and that starts with saying “no”.

    Here Are Some Ideas To Learn The Art Of “No”:

    1. Meditate. If you’re new to meditating, start with spending 5 minutes per day. For mediation tips, check out my article (insert link here)
    2. Reflect. You have to know what you don’t want to know what you do want. Journal your thoughts on aspects of your life you don’t like and follow up with what changes you want to see. Be specific. This step will show you what you feel is valuable to you.
    3. Gratitude. For every situation, choose something to be thankful for. It’s so easy to think a low vibrational or negative thought and ride the flow, however if you set the intention to recognize the good, it will become easier to be grateful.
    4. Say “no”. It’s going to be very uncomfortable at first, however start using the word “no” in response to thoughts or actions you don’t feel are valuable to you and push past that uncomfortable feeling because it will pass.
    5. Take action. Find a hobby. Go explore. Take that sip n paint class you’ve been eyeballing. Do something! Start spending your time doing things you feel are valuable instead of spending your time doing things other’s find valuable. 
    6. Acceptance. Be easy on yourself. Know that this is a learning process and it’s going to be uncomfortable at first however the more you say “no” the more you’ll discover who you are as a person and what your truth is.
    Mastering the art of saying “No” is so liberating!

    Keep Going, It Gets Easier

    These 6 steps are continual tasks. The more time you spend focusing on the art of saying “no” the more you will notice you begin to trust yourself and learn your truth of who you really are. The more you trust yourself, the more confident you will become which also build your self worth.

    It’s going to be some work at first and your life will look like it’s crumbling, however you have to clear out the people and situations that aren’t meant for you in order to make room for what is. 

    After a while, saying “no” will be easy because you have confidence, know your worth, and know who you are and you won’t sacrifice any of that for anyone else. 

    Keep shinning!

  • Navigating Life’s Blocks: Embrace Your Journey

    Navigating Life’s Blocks: Embrace Your Journey

    Writers block. Achievers block. Mommin’ block. A huge LIFE BLOCK. So now what?

    Join me as I attempt to unveil the thoughts that keep me moving forward in life.

    Let’s Get After It …

    The fall time is always the most life changing for my soul. I usually go hermit and commit to dive deep in my shadows to receive the blessings for the new year.

    It’s ALWAYS super f*cking challenging and always demanding of my energy. I describe it as depressing to others.

    I usually don’t have the energy or patience to explain what hermit mode or shadow work is. Although it’s quite common.

    But, apparently, right here and right now, I am going to start this blog with a big bang.

    Let’s Bang It Up With Hermit Mode

    Hermit Mode. Or what others call it … isolation.

    Most people I explain this to like to chastise and judge. They like to tell me how unhealthy it is to isolate.

    Others give their opinions based upon their own life perceptions.

    I learned that I can not take everyone’s advice and I have to advocate what’s best for my soul.

    After all, that’s what this journey here on Earth is about, right?

    Learning lessons to heal, level up to share your story with others in hopes they become wise like the teacher?

    For me, Hermit Mode is a time where I can meditate, journal, reflect and do whatever the f*ck I want. I don’t have to answer to anyone, receive judgment, or allow anyone to bleed their perspectives into my visions.

    It’s a time where I can set intentions to accept what my soul brings to my attention, feel it, deal with it, accept it, and let it go.

    Each year I find myself leveling up and learning so much more about myself and others. It’s absolutely amazing and I hope you all give yourself this type of attention.

    So I explained what “Hermit Mode” is, let’s talk about the shadow side.

    What Is The Shadow Side?

    Everyone has a Shadow Side. It’s the trauma and pain our souls experience throughout eternity.

    I like to accept my Shadow Side as a blessing; an opportunity to heal and receive wisdom. You see, for every amount of pain, there’s an equal amount of blessing. We simply have to be willing to accept the pain to receive the wisdom.

    So many times, we get caught up somewhere during this process.

    Accept.

    Feel.

    Forgive.

    Let go.

    We are humans, after all … meaning we don’t have a manual to this life. We are all walking around trying to sort through our own sh*t, just like everyone else.

    One’s Shadow Side is an opportunity to break free from the social norms and become an individual. To step into the unknown and be willing to experience the new.

    However, it comes with a price. Pain. So much unforgiving pain. The kind of pain that makes you curl up in a ball and weep like a child.

    Our physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, and energetic bodies all carry experiences and it’s up to us to determine their affect and worth.

    Many people choose to mask the pain with devices such as addictions and distractions.

    I like to use distractions because addictions aren’t my thing. I distract myself with work, mommin’, the gym, counting macros, scrolling online, obsessively researching recipes. Recently, my research topic is how to make homemade bread. (I found the easiest protein pretzel recipe that came out great and has only a few ingredients!)

    All right, enough with the shadow side, let’s talk about the why.

    So What’s All This Pain Mean?

    That’s the gazillion dollar question… and it’s unique to everyone.

    For me, this journey is about self acceptance and taking risks: recovering from people pleasing and being a unicorn.

    I have so many ideas and passions I want to explore and achieve, however I am a perfectionist. I make excuses in my head as to why I can’t take action and stay frozen.

    However, it appears that’s what’s changing for me next year. Starting with this blog. It doesn’t have to be perfect and I can be me. I am not perfect. Yet, I am unique and accept myself for who I am, so why should I be shy to share me with the world?

    Is it fear? Is it shame? Is it self judgement? Sure… it’s all of those.

    However, if I don’t take this risk and put myself out into the world and do what fills my heart with passion, then what’s the point of being here?

    So here I am world. A little bit of me and a little bit of wisdom.

    xoxo,

    Kristin

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